I Nurse So Much I Dream About It

PB is officially sleeping through the night. She goes to bed around 9:30 wakes up for a feeding at 4:30 then sleeps until around 9. It would be extremely nice if mommy would stop randomly waking up in the middle of the night looking for her next to me.
I have nightmares. I have for as long as I can remember. They always come when I'm over tired or I've drank too much. I've also been known to sleepwalk and work in my sleep. Lately it's been a weird combination of working and nightmares.
Before PB slept full nights I would nurse her in bed and fall asleep with her in the bed. I know, I shouldn't. It's against every safe sleeping code out there but mommy has to sleep too. Having done this up until about a week ago this was the norm. So, for the past three nights I have awoken from some odd dream in the "wrong" position looking for the baby. Every possible scenario has crossed my mind, of course, and the most frequent is I've smothered her with the blankets. It's nothing for me to jump fully out of bed, flinging blankets, digging for a baby who is still safely and soundly sleeping in her own bed.
It's almost like I feel guilty about sleeping so well. I like to ask myself why should I when she is. She doesn't care as long as she's comfortable. I still haven't answered myself back.

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